RG’s Day at the Zoo with Cherry Vile Prep (Part 3)

Although Plato wrote fairly well, most philosophical writing is extraordinarily bad. Philosophers like to say their awful writing results from their burrowing very deeply into very difficult waters; on the other hand, it is quite likely they are lost in the dark. (Yes, my mixed metaphor is all wet.)  

These thoughts were inspired by doing a web search for “existential dilemma.” Even for philosophical writing, articles and books about existentialism are extraordinarily turgid and unreadable. When you get right down to it, “Life’s a bitch; then you die,” sums up existential thinking well enough to at least get you three elective credits on your philosophy 101 mid-term exam.

The phrase I quote above is like a tiny, freeze-dried kernel of existential thinking. If you add liquid (Cherry Vile is an appropriate choice) it expands. Sometimes it expands just a little bit.

 

For example, I found an extremely disorganized and incoherent web site that sounds as if it was compiled by as a class project by some philosophy students taking philosophy 201. Although they’ve gone downhill from the tag I posted above, they still maintain some clarity and focus.

The Existential system of beliefs is very simple – nothing comes after death. We simply cease to be. This creates what is known as the Existential dilemma. That is, our life becomes absurd and meaningless without an afterlife to strive toward. In fact, many believe that the genesis of contemporary religion can be found in the desire for purpose. Thus, the Existential person must try to find meaning in a life that is essentially meaningless and without end culmination.

This web site is almost as bad (meaning it is even worse):

Sometimes adding an entire bottle of Cherry Vile to the tags it expands into the complete writing of Kierkegaard, a man who wrote a variety of works, all of which bear the same title: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here. Then add a little Sartre, and you create a concoction so stupifyingly dreadful that it earns you a doctorate in philosophy as well as a gag superglued over your mouth for the rest of your life.