Candor ends at 6?

November 4, 2010

Recently, David Rochester wrote:

Last night I had occasion to attend a Celebration of Autumn party which was heavily attended by the under-six crowd. In watching and listening to these children, I was struck by their directness; they asked for what they wanted, and were clear about what (and whom) they did and didn’t like. And I thought about the fact that we spend most of our adolescent and adult lives trying to recapture the honesty and candor we naturally had as young children. Most of us, I think, never do get back to that place of being really honest with ourselves and others. Yes, some of that is good boundaries, but a lot of it is fear-based. And I wonder what we’re afraid of … usually the consequence of honesty would be to part us from people and circumstances dragging us down and making us inauthentic.

Random Granddaughter is now six years old. We received an invitation from her private school, which she attends with children of a famous SW billionaire (for whom I would probably have to eliminate you with extreme prejudice if I named), to observe her in first grade during “Grandparents and Grandfriends Day.”

Does she really want Grandma and Grandpa to observe her? Her Mommies say, “Yes, she does.”

Or is she just saying that because she thinks she is supposed to? Well, probably she really wants us to attend. But by second grade she may just be acting polite.

Right now she throws a hissy fit when asked to eat something she does not want to eat, and she is direct in saying what she likes and doesn’t like. But pretty soon she will learn to eat what her parents and grandparents say she should eat, and pretty soon she will learn to hide the honesty and candor she had at two, three, four, and five years of age. Comes with the territory, I’m afraid.

I’ve put away most of what I’ve written about her in my blog with instructions for it to be given to her when she is fifteen years of age. If she hasn’t already run away from home by then or started a revolution somewhere or living in a commune in San Francisco or Washington, D.C. or Chicago.By then she will deny she ever knew me…or the child I described in her infancy and toddleracy.

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6 Responses to “Candor ends at 6?”

  1. Karen O Says:

    I guess the secret is to remain child-like without being child-ish. At this point in my life, I feel more free to feel child-like than I have for most of my adult life.

    That’s a good thing, I think. Or maybe it means I’m entering early-senility. :-)

  2. modestypress Says:

    As I’ve never grown up, I am not sure where I fit on this spectrum. As I’ve had intestinal flu for the last couple of weeks, it’s back to the diaper stage.

    • Karen O Says:

      Oh my! Poor Mrs. Random! (For having to take care of you.)

      I hope you get over this soon. 2 weeks sounds like a long time to have something like that.


  3. I can’t believe that RG is six already … amazing. Depending upon how the diaper situation goes, you may want to attend an event at some different grade, where your nether attire will fit in better. Two weeks does sound like a really long time for a virus; I hope it’s on the wane.

    • modestypress Says:

      Thank you, David. Saturday, I taught an eight-hour Driver Safety Program class without embarrassing myself, though I did feel faint at times. Not only that, I safely made the hour-long trip home without crashing into any other vehicles or getting a ticket.

      Probably RG is already secretly engaged to at least one boy and one girl and one cat and one dog and one chicken and is secretly composing a song to perform on the violin at her wedding.

      I authorized this comment. Oh, wait, I think the election is over. Or is it just getting started?


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