1I Coming Shortage of Unnatural Resources: Ridiculous Groups

May 28, 2007

Some people are just funny, even though they are not members of a funny group.

I am such a person. I am funny because I am a person who tries to be funny but I am not really very funny. My failing efforts to be funny make me an object of ridicule, thus unintentionally funny.

However, some groups are considered funny.

Such groups include:

  • Blondes
  • Polish people
  • Jewish people
  • Aggies (students or graduates of Texas A&M College)
  • black people
  • white people
  • nerds

To understand why groups of people lose their humor potential, you must review some chemistry. You may not consider chemistry very humorous, but that’s only because you only studied inorganic chemistry or organic chemistry. For some reason, your chemistry teacher forgot to teach you about humor chemistry.

Three of the basic elements of humor chemistry are RI (ridiculum), ST (stereotypium) and STU (stupidium). Combining these elements produce compounds such as Polish jokes.

However, just as in quantum physics the presence of an observer affects the outcome of the experiment (1), the presence of a large number of observers affects the outcome of a humor chemistry reaction. A certain percentage of the observers introduce the weak element REAL (realisticum) and the stronger element EM (empathium) into the reaction, producing the compound PC (politicalcorrectness). The presence of PC rapidly dampens humor chemistry reactions. Desperate humor chemists tried throwing in the element CTJ (cantyoutakeajokeium), but this often only produced explosive reactions. In fact the use of CTJ is considered so dangerous that its use is now banned by law.

As you can see from the introduction page to the Polish joke collection, PC has been introduced and soon the entire joke collection will weaken into an idiot joke collection.

It is clear that objects of ridicule and derision are a rapidly diminishing unnatural resource.


(1) Wikipedia says: A common lay misuse of the term refers to quantum mechanics, where, if the outcome of an event has not been observed, it exists in a state of ‘superposition‘, which is akin to being in all possible states at once. In the famous thought experiment known as Schrödinger’s cat the cat is supposedly neither alive nor dead until observed — until that time, the cat is both alive and dead (technically half-alive and half-dead in probability terms). However, modern quantum physicists, in resolving Schrödinger’s seeming paradox, now understand that the acts of ‘observation’ and ‘measurement’ must also be defined in quantum terms before the question makes sense. From this point of view, there is no ‘observer effect’, only one vastly entangled quantum system. To which I respond by throwing in some illegal CTJ from my secret stash.



2 Responses to “1I Coming Shortage of Unnatural Resources: Ridiculous Groups”

  1. teaspoon Says:

    You forgot about Norwegian jokes, for instance those of the Sven and Ole variety. Clearly you don’t listen to “A Prairie Home Companion” often enough!

  2. modestypress Says:

    To be precise, it’s the Lutheran Norwegian bachelor farmers. But I shouldn’t leave out people who are funny for feeling slighted because they weren’t included in a list of funny people.

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