3C Under the Fence

July 10, 2007

Humans (most of us) have an instinctive affection and protectiveness for little children. If you could see little Random Granddaughter gravely mothering her favorite dolly, whom she calls, Special Baby, right now, you would say, “Isn’t she darling?”

Her other favorite dolly is a floppy stuffed rabbit she calls, Bunny. Oddly enough, when she plays with Bunny, and puts words in his mouth, they are often aggressive and pushy words addressed to the other toys. Bunny has an aggressive streak to him. If RG wasn’t a sweet, innocent three-year-old child, I would be tempted to say that she has already learned to project feelings onto other creatures that she suspects may not be acceptable to her Mommies..

Nevertheless, Mama (Random Daughter) and Mommy (Random Daughter’s Out of Law partner and birth mother of RG) strive to maintain the little darling’s innocence. For example, when older preschoolers began to frighten RG with tales of monsters, Mommy turned played cute “monster” games with RG that defused the word from its frightening connotations.

That works pretty well. For a little while.

My wife tells me that when she was a little girl growing up in Southern California, she lived in a Disneyland World. Although she sometimes watched the news on television, it didn’t seem very real to her. When she became 18 and threw herself out of the house after a fight with her mother and got a job as a file clerk and her own tiny little apartment, she began to pay attention to the news. My wife is not a person to get “depressed,” but she was very down for a while at that age as she realized she wasn’t living in a Disneyland World any more.

Although we didn’t try to “shelter” our daughter to an extreme degree, she did go through a bit of a similar experience as she went to college.

In a weird sort of way, Mrs. Random and I are going through a similar sort of experience in our 60s. We moved from the city (which has plenty of monsters, thank you) to the country, where we are creating our little “Garden of Eden” on our five acres. However, it’s not really possible to get back to a Garden of Eden because the cute little animals fell with the humans, and they have to eat.

So we have a fence around our garden. Although the garden has a tall fence, the deer (who are really Olympic high jumpers in deer costumes) could probably leap in if they were starving, but they are lazy, and just graze in our five acre forest.

The squirrels and chipmunks seem content to nibble plants on our porch and try to sneak into the house to see what’s in our cupboard.

The cute, little fuzzy rabbits. Ah the cute little fuzzy rabbits. Mrs. Random saw a big Mama rabbit with six little baby rabbits all lined up outside the garden. It would be hard for Mama Rabbit to crawl under the fence.

Mrs. Rabbit said, “Last week, Mr. Random beat one of your brothers or sisters (or maybe it was a cousin) to death with a rock and then he stepped on it. A few days later, Mrs. Random was in the garden by herself, so even though she is smaller than Mr. Random, and all by herself, she killed the other rabbit that was living in the garden.”

Mama Rabbit continued, “Doesn’t that sound like fun, little children? Why don’t you see if you can crawl under the fence and play with the Randoms?”

Next: The Great White Hunter Goes on Safari

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5 Responses to “3C Under the Fence”


  1. I sense that this isn’t going to end well. It’s MacGregor’s garden, all over again, with a hint of Quentin Tarantino.

  2. stevo Says:

    Squirrels were my nemesis. Luckily, I now live in an environ free of the bushy-tailed menace. For several years I was a slayer of the fearsome creatures. I can relate to your bunnicular problem.

  3. modestypress Says:

    The bunny crisis continues. Last night as I was coming to bed, Mrs. Random had a somber look on her face.

    50% of the time, that is a “We have to have a serious talk” look.

    50% of the time, the universe is not obeying her wishes. (Instead of me.)

    To my relief, she said she was depressed because she had seen another bunny in the garden and the “rabbit proof fence” (my reference to a depressing book and movie that is not about rabbits) around garden was failing.

    However, on the up or down side in regard to Stevo’ comment, this morning she said that she had seen a squirrel chasing a small rabbit.

    More when I get a chance.

  4. Clownscape Says:

    Let’s call it – “Alice in Randomland”

  5. Vicky Says:

    Stevo says – “bunnicular problem.” LOL


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