2N Bring Child for Admission
July 15, 2007
To get to work, I ride a ferry for part of the journey. I buy ferry tickets online. When the Barely Extended Family is going to visit us, I send them electronic tickets as attachments to an email.
When I recently sent my daughter tickets, I wrote:
“These tickets are so you can get to us. Bring Child for admission.”
Below is a summary of the email discussion that ensued.
My daughter’s questions are shown in italic. My replies are shown in bold.
hmm. any child?
Preferably a child named “Random Granddaughter.” Children named “Gertrude,” or “Whilhelmina,” or “Insipia,” or “Ernistine,” are less likely to get you in.
does child have to be in good mood?
One melt-down per day is allowed. If child engages in more than one, it will have to take its nap in the nettle bushes.
If covered with dirt on arrival, child may find itself being hosed off before entry into house.
willing to eat vegetables?
Child should eat one vegetable. For example, one green bean.
say “please” and “thank you” without prompting?
Child may prompt Grandma and Grandpa to say, “Please.”
please advise on child specifications.
Child should be special.