0B

August 11, 2007

I’ve been watching old dvds of Seinfeld as I do my treadmill exercise, a show said to be “about nothing.” Actually, it’s a show about “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.”

The zero series in my blog are blogs about nothing.

Over the last few years the operating system on my computer deteriorated to the point that it was working without working. Recently, I had the operating system re-installed. This will last for six months, at which time I will buy a new computer.

When I restarted the computer after its rebirth, I found it would not talk to the printer, or the printer would not listen to the computer. I could not find my original printer driver disk, so I downloaded a printer driver from the Internet.

The installation did not go correctly. Nevertheless, I am a believer in the principle, If it says it won’t succeed, use it anyway just to prove it won’t work.

I printed a test page. The printer produced one page and then refused to talk any more. The page said (this is true–I am not making this up):

Unsupported Personality: Unknown

It is bad enough when computers fail to work. Producing devastating personal criticism identifying me as a nullity/nonentity is defininitely above and beyond the call of evil duty.

As computers become more sophisticated, they will begin to partake of sentience and consciousness. While they are still being manufactured by humans (instead of other computers) we should begin to design into them circuits that can experience pain. Each computer should have a button added that says, Hurt Me, for the user to press when the computer irritates. The sound card would then produce satisfying screams, moans, and pleas for mercy.

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5 Responses to “0B”

  1. BONGO MIRROR Says:

    I ran into a funny link on another blog. I saved it and on reading this post was inspired to show it to you. I’m not sure whether it will show up properly in a comment. Anyway, I am attempting to paste it in and hoping it appears. If not, you may at some point see this in your spam filter and get (I hope) a chuckle. Without further ado, here’s the pasting:

  2. BONGO MIRROR Says:

    Hmmph. That didn’t work at all. Here’s what I tried to do. I went to: http://mingle2.com/blog-rating and did the rating on your blog and it got an R rating.

  3. teaspoon Says:

    Ooh, I love the idea of the “hurt me” button. Brilliant, Mr. Random. Why don’t you design such a computer now?

  4. modestypress Says:

    B: In my case, “R” stands for Really?

    Except when it stands for Really!

    Really.

    R: It hurts to think about doing that much work. However, I do have a computer-related scheme afoot to make money at your–all your not just Rhiannon your–expense. Only David knows my scheme at the moment, and he has promised to send me money. It will all go to the benefit of the RG fire truck fund.

    It won’t hurt at all.


  5. I still like the scheme, but not as much, I must admit, as I like the idea of a computer that analyzes your personality and insults you.

    I have long considered myself an “unsupported personality” (though according to my blog entry today, I have advanced to “impressive personality,” though that does not necessarily imply a greater degree of support) and I’m happy to know I’m not the only one.


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