3R You’re the Wrong Size to Shoot this Air Rifle

August 14, 2007

When Mrs. Random and I went over to the Friendly Neighbors for air rifle instruction, my wife expected that she would get a chance to practice with the rifle as well.

However, Mr. FN mentioned two disturbing facts:

  • His wife is a better shot than he is.
  • The air rifle scope has to be adjusted for a person of a certain size (height and arm length, primarily)

He and I are about the same size. (About 5′ 11”.)

My wife and Mrs. FN are about the same size. (About 5′ 1”.)

My wife considers this diagnosis and prescription as representing some sort of sexist bias against her being allowed to shoot.

There are two phenomena of modern life my wife (a short person with a modest bosom) does not consider the least bit amusing:

However, Mrs. Friendly Neighbor agreed with her husband’s diagnosis on the scope setup. “I can’t use his gun,” she said. “It’s all wrong for me in how it is set up. It is impossible for me to aim it with the scope set up for his height and reach.”

In the face of these twin arguments, my wife subsided, though I can tell she still thinks somebody is having her on in this regard, as the Kiwi expression goes.

The Friendly Neighbors also mentioned that Mrs. FN owns an air pistol. At one point their rifle malfunctioned, and had to be shipped back to the manufacturer for repairs. During that bleak period of bunny menace, they were entirely dependant on her air pistol for defense against the bunny hordes.

“By the way,” Mrs. Friendly neighbor told my wife and me in an unemotional way. “They’re not ‘bunnies.’ They’re rabbit pests. When we shoot enough of them, they get the point and stay away from our garden for a while. But after enough time passes, they come back again, and we have to start killing them again.”

Next: The Randoms go into battle for the first time.


6 Responses to “3R You’re the Wrong Size to Shoot this Air Rifle”

  1. Cameron Says:

    I’m guessing you swapped the heights of all involved parties in this entry?

  2. modestypress Says:

    Thank you. That’s called a stupid typing mistake. I fixed it. I may delete these two comments.

  3. Cameron Says:

    I wasn’t sure until you later mentioned she was petite (as am I). Feel free to delete all and sundry comments!

  4. jennymac Says:

    Mr. Random, please don’t change such errors and comments, they help me feel closer to normal, (and can be entertaining). My neighbor came to my door once thanking me because my little, yet fierce, kitty killed on of his “rodents”. It was a large ground squirrel and due to the number of sweet and innocent children in the neighborhood, we adults used the word “rodent” when complaining, bragging, or otherwise murmmering about their destruction. Good luck with your rodent problem…. FTL, jen

  5. janie Says:

    Yeah, whether something is “cute” and a “bunny” or “noxious” and a “pest” is entirely dependent on circumstances and perspective. Where I live we used to have only a very few rabbits and they were “bunnies”. But now there are way too many and they are eating everyone’s flowers down to nubs, so they have completely lost their cuteness.

    When we lived in the tropics we had a plethora of rats. The rats actually sat on the outside sills of the windows and peered inside the house. That’s the point at which we acquired an air pistol and I learned to shoot it. So far, I have resisted getting it out for the no longer cute rabbits, but I see the day coming.

  6. Pete Says:

    Wow 2 topics in a row I actually know something about! I just got a really nice air rifle from my brother for a birthday present. It has a 4X9 scope on it and shoots over 1000 ft./sec! It is quite accurate at 60 feet. I have an older one, and have popped a few rabbits out the living room window. I don’t have a problem with rabbits, I have a problem with LOTS of rabbits, and it always ends up that way. They do a lot of damage.

    Random, your writing has improved since I was here last (Not that if ever sucked or anything.)I laughed pretty hard over your Mes Random comments. And if I were her I would have thought the guy was a little sexist.

    If you are going to buy an air rifle, consider a few things: The scope is really nice but not necessary. Just be sure the sights are adjustable. Also the feednig of it. You can get ones that you can load a bunch of pellets in at once (Very convienent) but they are more prone to jam. The single feed one are less convienent but there is no action to jam. a pellet pistol will only be accurate at close range, and rabbits are generally not known to let you get close. Which leads to a series of lame jokes:
    Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    A: Unique up on it.
    Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    A: The tame way as the unique one!

    Ok I’ll leave…

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