3T Little Big Game

August 23, 2007

After our lesson with the air rifle at the neighbors, my wife and I and our weapon returned home. I had twice hit the picture of the cardinal on the seed bag in the head. Although as far as I know, no cardinals live west of the Mississippi River, if any invade our space, they will be in a world of hurt. If they hold still enough for me to aim.

I was supposed to practice shooting at the bird seed bag some more. However, on the next Saturday, my wife said, “There is a rabbit living in the garden.” So I decided to go into battle without additional target practice.

I loaded the rifle with a pellet. (It only takes one pellet at a time, so it is less likely to jam, as Pete wisely points out.) I put the safety in the safe position, so I wouldn’t shoot my wife or myself by accident.

We entered the garden. The berry bushes are near the front (east side). The raspberries are on the left (north) and the boysenberries on the right (south).

The strategy was to flush the rabbit out and chase it back to the rear of the garden (west). When the Friendly Neighbor had come over with his air rifle, the rabbit had conveniently run to the rear of the garden and posed for a few seconds while he aimed and shot.

Mrs. Random used the hose with a nozzle to spray and a stick to poke to flush the rabbit out. After various sprays and pokes, the rabbit ran out. “Get it! Chase it to the back!” My wife yelled. I chased. The rabbit ran to the fence on the south and hid under the peas along the fence.

My wife pursued it into the peas. The rabbit ran back and circled around into the boysenberries.

My wife came back to the berries. She flushed the rabbit again. It ran between us, and got back into the raspberries again.

My wife attempted to flush it out of the raspberries again.

“Did it come out?” she demanded.

“No.” I said.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

Now when it comes to a question such as, “Did you empty your pockets?” when she is doing the laundry, it makes some sense to ask, “Are you sure?” as I have been known to leave a tissue in my pocket.

However, when I am looking as attentively as I can, gun in hand, for a fleeing rabbit, even dumb as I am, I am not going to watch the rabbit gallop by and fail to note that fact to my spouse.

My wife said, “Next time, pick up some rocks, and chase the rabbit back to the fence!”

I put the rifle down, picked up some rocks and assumed what I calculated was a good position for rabbit driving.

“No! Not there. Over there!” My wife criticized my positioning in her best, “Why did I marry this idiot” tone.

I thought (but did not say out loud): You are addressing a spouse who is using a loaded weapon for the first time. Do you really want to address him in this tone and manner?

“Look around the garden!” demanded my wife. On the south side, I saw a rabbit bounding away on the outside of the fence. Generally, once the rabbits get inside the garden, they seem to forget how to get back out. However, our hot pursuit may have refreshed its memory, though there was no way to tell for sure if it was the same rabbit or an innocent bystander rabbit.

“Are you sure it was the same rabbit?” my wife demanded. After some additional marriage-bonding dialog, we decided to call it a rabbit-hunting day.

Next: Shots fired!



4 Responses to “3T Little Big Game”

  1. janie Says:

    It sounds like the “flushing” part may be much more difficult than the “shooting” part. I guess we’ll soon see.

  2. Pete Says:

    Laughing out loud and hard! It was so easy to visualize this hunting episode!

  3. teaspoon Says:

    I think I may have to skip the next installment. I watched a rabbit get run over by a car the other day and am still recovering from the experience. I’m not sure I can handle a voluntary rabbit murder!

  4. modestypress Says:

    janie: After the flushing, both my wife and I were very flushed.

    Pete: I’m glad you were sort of there.

    Rhiannon: Both you and RG should skip the next installment. Grandpa Random is not a good influence.

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