2W More Bunny Homicidal Madness

August 29, 2007

Follow-up to exurban savagery.

Probably the main reason I have not used a .22 rifle is that I have been following the lead and guidance of The Friendly Neighbors, who use an air rifle.

Also, apparently rifle hunting is not legal on our island. I am not sure how this can be, and why the NRA has not thrown everybody not in support of unrestricted gun use off the island into the ocean.

In addition, at one time my daughter worked in a medical research lab and had to off rabbits as part of the research. As a conscientious person, she carried out this task as directed, but as a gentle, kindly person she was distressed by the responsibility. Now, as a mom of a three year old girl, she has apparently had a resurgence of her gentle, kindly, “fuzzy bunny” self and is not entirely enthusiastic about her dad’s emergence as a blood-thirsty rabbit killer, or so her mom tells me. I suspect she would not be all that much of a fan of dad increasing his firepower.

I have been a bit concerned that a rabbit I shot be really dead, as mentioned in several messages. I move them around a bit to make sure they seem clearly lifeless, but I have been drawing the line at trying to take a pulse or detect breath on a mirror.

Although the Friendly Neighbor is big on using a scope, I have mixed feelings about it. At times a rabbit is wandering around where I can focus on it with the scope and aim at it, but often the rabbits are bounding out from under my feet, and the only chance I would have to get one of them would be to fire off a quick shot.

As I think Pete indicated, a rifle with just a sight might be more useful for quick aiming and firing. For that matter, a pistol would probably be better for quick shots at a bunny that’s visible for a few seconds. Unfortunately, air pistols don’t pack enough punch to really damage the bunny. Mrs. Friendly Neighbor indicated that her air pistol mostly irritates the rabbits. Now while it’s obvious that irritating a bear by shooting it with a pistol is probably not a good idea, I am not sure how dangerous it is to irritate a bunny with a pistol, but why take a chance?

Besides the two rabbits I clearly shot, and I think were clearly dead, I had a pretty good shot at one rabbit the same day. It bounded into the thick underbrush of the woods, but a couple days later, my wife detected a bad smell coming from that part of the woods, which we thought a fairly clear indication of dead bunny.

So at the moment, the score stands at two clearly dead rabbits, one probably dead rabbit, and several frightened rabbits. We have not seen any rabbits for a few days.

Mrs. Friendly Neighbor said to us, “After you get a few rabbits, they seem to get the idea you don’t want them around, and stay away for a while. But they always come back eventually, and you have to start shooting them again.

However, in the meantime, the zucchini are clearly avoiding any sudden moves and watching me very carefully. However, their strategy is to double in size overnight, while staying in one place.

My strategy is to take the zucchini to work on the mainland and leave them in the staff room with written instructions to co-workers to take take them home quickly and eat them at once while we still have a chance to survive their onslaught. Seems to work so far, as all the zuchinni I left have disappeared, though they may only be lurking in the corridor waiting for a chance to jump me and bring me down as a pack.

12 Responses to “2W More Bunny Homicidal Madness”

  1. janie Says:

    Every person I’ve ever known with a garden has this same zucchini problem. Would it help to plant fewer, or do they just do this all by themselves? Too bad it isn’t contagious to other veggies and fruits. (Not that I don’t like zucchini.)

  2. modestypress Says:

    Oddly enough, the Friendly Neighbors have a much more splendid garden than ours, and a greenhouse as well. While our tomatoes pose in pristine (and useless) green vanity, they have been providing us with splendid ripe red tomatoes from their greenhouse.

    However, their zucchini plant is languishing and not doing well, while ours is spouting out zucchini with a vigor and enthusiasm that is shocking even for a zucchini plant. My wife has been pushing zucchini on them with disgraceful eagerness.

    Monsanto Corporation has been pursuing genetic modification of various plants. However, they have inexplicably missed the obvious scheme of creating a high-protein zucchini, thus ending world hunger right off the bat.

  3. Pete Says:

    We have the same tomato problem. Lots and lots of green ones. It happens every year. But my wife does seem to procrastinate getting them in the ground in the spring. As a rule we have to wait until may 15 to miss frost.

    Every bunny entry has me laughing mighty hard, and I hate to see the subject change, though I suspect a few others might be ready!

  4. teaspoon Says:

    I’m one reader who is ready for a subject change.

  5. modestypress Says:

    The mommy and daddy bunnies are surely busy doing what bunnies do well. As the little bunnies come off the assembly line, mommy and daddy say, “You have a great future ahead. Peter, you will be prey on training wheels; Mopsy, you will be a target practice bunny; all of you will be a “make Pete laugh and poor teaspoon cringe” litter.

    teaspoon, if you are still reading this far, I have a true story from Peru coming up fairly soon in which no bunnies or other small animals were injured and contains very inspiring feminist Inca role models.

  6. Cameron Says:

    Well, I, for one, am pleased at your bunny-reduction efforts. Now that we’ve moved from the exurbs of Atlanta to the big city (Louisville, KY!), we don’t seem to have any wildlife here at all, which I’ll miss. I’ll need your stories to keep me grounded!

  7. teaspoon Says:

    Do you eat the rabbits that you kill? If you eat meat at all, you really ought to.

  8. modestypress Says:

    Rhiannon, in avoiding my blood-soaked recent blog messages, you may have missed the following I suppose we could have cleaned the rabbit and eaten it. I have been told that the wild rabbits are infested with viruses, and are not good for humans to eat. It is more convenient for my inner squeemer to believe that.

    It sounds feeble and pathetic to me also.

  9. teaspoon Says:

    Why on earth would they be infested with viruses? Besides, even if it’s true, cooking them well will take care of that just fine. So pick up the Joy of Cooking and get to work.

  10. modestypress Says:

    Rhiannon, obviously you have been forcing yourself to read my macabre bunny hunting posts just to compel me to eat the bunnies I kill. Your effort is futile; I have an almost infinite capacity to resist moralistic advice.

    I suppose next you will be demanding that Carter take you to see movies such as Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs and afterwards you will complain bitterly because he took you to see such depraved fare.

  11. Bunny Says:

    Are you really offing bunnies? 😦

    I don’t have a problem if you kill them for food but otherwise they’re aren’t really doing much harm so why not leave them alone?

  12. […] June 22, 2008 Commenting on a long ago post, Bunny wrote: […]

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