The Future of Zucchini
September 19, 2007
Mrs. and Mr. Random had the following conversation.
Mrs.: “The plant breeders keep breeding zucchini plants that produce more and more zucchini fruit. Why don’t they turn their attention to creating plants that produce few and fewer fruit?”
Mr.: “Dear, as usual, you are completely out of step with everyone else in our society. Everyone else wants—more, more, more—no matter what it is, it has to be more.”
Mr.: “You want to get one of those ‘Four in one’ apple trees like the Friendly Neighbors have, where four different types of apples are grated on to one root stock. I don’t know why the same principle could not be applied to vegetables. We could have a zucchini stock that also grows cucumbers, and pumpkins, and crookneck squash as well as zucchini.”
Mrs.: “The other fruit would not have a chance. I would go out and find the other fruit lying on the ground after the zucchini had strangled them.”
Mimes a throttled cucumber.