Deers Are Stupid

November 30, 2007

Deers are stupid. For one thing, they don’t know how to pluralize their name properly. Do they think they are fish or something?

Also, how do deer get driver’s licenses? Where does it say in the driver’s manual to stand in the middle of the road when they should run?

Monday night I was driving home from work on our country highway at the speed limit of 50 mph. The lights from an oncoming car momentarily obscured my already poor night vision. When I saw fully again, a deer stood about 30 feet in front of me. It was too late to stop or swerve successfully.

The deer did not have a good time that night. Neither did my car, which now needs a new hood, a new headlight, and new turn signals.

(My tired old self is still in one piece. This is the second deer in a couple of years. We have to stop meeting like this.)


9 Responses to “Deers Are Stupid”

  1. Did you at least take home a nice venison steak or so?

  2. modestypress Says:

    Hi waxing,

    Randoms are not that smart either, actually.

    First, I was reluctant to stop in the dark with traffic whizzing by at 50 mph. Second, if the deer was wounded, it might have kicked in my head. Third, I did not have a weapon to end its misery. This is really a miserable episode in all regards. I wish I was merely back to teaspoon chastising me for not eating the bunnies.

  3. Pete Says:

    My deepest sympathies. I am past due for pasting one myself. I JUST missed one last weekend, as she was smart enough (No wait, that can’t be) to run in the same direction I was driving. The deer are thicker than ever this year in eastern washington, and the turkeys….! Really really thick. but turkeys are smarter than deer(s). They actually get out of the road, but it takes them a little bit to get airborne.
    Sorry you didn’t get the backstraps off the deer…yum!
    P.S. Teaspoon probably doesn’t like me…

  4. Oh, no … I’m glad you’re OK, but sorry to hear about the trauma to your car. Will your insurance take care of the damage under comp coverage? Or was that a collision? Or neither?

    It’s illegal to scavenge steaks from roadkill, isn’t it? Which isn’t to say I wouldn’t be tempted, if I hit a deer; venison and rabbit are my two favorite meats.

  5. Average Jane Says:

    No, I don’t suppose you are feeling too good about this. And yes, deers are stupid. But that doesn’t help.

  6. missholley Says:

    I’m so glad you are okay! When I was in high school, a guy hit a deer going too fast and caused it to roll up onto the hood of his car! The hoofs broke through his window and started kicking and flailing. The guy driving was kicked to death by the deer! So this story of yours has a happy ending after all, it seems!

  7. modestypress Says:

    I took half a day of vacation time Friday to visit my insurance company’s adjuster and the only body shop within five miles of my residence.

    The insurance company said I am covered under my comp. The cost will probably be more than my poor sad old car is worth.

    The adjuster seemed nice enough.

    The owner of the body shop seems nice enough, though he ought to act toward me in a nice way as the deer and I and the insurance company are financing his children’s birthday presents this year.

    He looked at the business card of the adjuster and said, “Oh, is he still working for them?”

    I asked, “Is there a problem?”

    He rolled his eyes a bit but then in complete contradiction to his body language said, “No, no, it’s fine. It’s nothing.”

    I have a feeling I am not out of the woods, yet. But then, I live in the woods.

  8. Vicky Says:

    Random – Sorry about your accident. What a bummer!

    Pete – I concur with you about the backstraps – yum! And venison jerky is pretty tasty as well!

  9. janie Says:

    Wow, Random, sorry to hear about your deer encounter. I’m thankful that you are ok.

    My husband and I totaled a minivan several years ago hitting a deer on the interstate. It was fortunate that my husband is a good driver, because the traffic was such that we could have been killed, but he was able to maintain control of the van. The state troopers who helped us said we could keep the deer, but we had sort of lost our appetite.

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