What Part of the Word Deadline Don’t You Understand?

March 17, 2008

This morning, before I got ready to go to my high stress job (which I had taken because I thought it would be low-stress), I checked my Yahoo email accounts. I have three at the moment. Each is supposed to be less stressful than the others.

I saw an ad posted by Yahoo.

Although I am concentrating on making it to retirement rather than seeking a new job, I couldn’t resist seeing what they regarded as low-stress jobs.

Here are some of the titles with my comments instead of theirs.

Accountant. I am trying to get my taxes done in time. Then I will take my information (which is a little confusing) to my accountant and demand she get my taxes in on time and find a way to save me some money.

Pre-school Teacher. I went to six high schools. At the age of 4, Random Granddaughter has gone to four preschools. Her birth mother, a trained Montessori preschool teacher (who moved on to a higher stress job working at an exclusive private school) has been dissatisfied with every pre-school RG has attended. Although she is a very polite person, I suspect she has let the teachers at every school know that she is watching and evaluating their care of RG very carefully. She is about to move RG back to pre-school #1. I don’t know what RG will have to say about these changes. RG is a child who often expresses her opinion freely.

Nursing Assistant. I wonder why so many of the nursing assistants I encounter are from the Phillipines.

Financial Planner. Today, your assignment is to call your customers and tell them the state of their investment in Bear Sterns.

Massage Therapist / Physical Therapy Assistant. How many massage therapists injure themselves trying to get the kinks out of their tense patients?

Pastry Chef. Just don’t sample too many of your creations. You might get high blood pressure.

Graphic Design. My wife and I owned a graphics business. We provided services to many graphic designers. We did some graphic design work of our own. What part of the word deadline don’t you understand?

Desktop Support. “Hello, I have been on hold for four hours waiting for you to help me with my *!@% computer. It doesn’t work. I don’t see a key with the word any on it. There is no need to use that kind of language with me….”

Welcome to the world of low-stress careers.


8 Responses to “What Part of the Word Deadline Don’t You Understand?”

  1. pandemonic Says:

    That was an interesting article. It was obviously written as an advertisement. All of those “careers” had links to career schools.

    This is my idea of a stress-free existence: beach bum in CA. It’s warm enough to sleep outside. I’ve seen many a homeless person making a bed under a cypress tree. I can eat beans out of a can. The only drawback, and therefore bit of stress would be having to go to the bathroom and taking a bath. Other than that, life would be perfectly stressless.

  2. modestypress Says:


    I agree…you nailed it in one…all their “free of stress” job tips were baits to get people to sign up for training. Very clever marketing, I thought.

    When I was a high school teacher in Seattle, we were also supposed to be counselors as well as teachers. We had a training session where we observed each other provide a counseling session through one way mirrors. Afterwards we discussed the sessions we had observed.

    I remember one session vividly. One teacher/counselor talked with a student. The student had a clear idea of his life and career goals.

    After graduation from high school (and he was having no difficulty completing his classes with a B average), he wanted to be a beach bum/surfer in Florida. He had obviously thought about this life goal quite a bit. He presented his vision to the counselor in a calm, clear, articulate manner.

    The other teachers in our conference were quite definite about how unsuitable his goals were. They lamented how much he would regret his grasshopper approach to life as he got older if he didn’t settle down on getting some more education, getting a good career and settling down with a family.

    I didn’t say anything. I just thought to myself…Hmm…doesn’t sound that bad to me…

    Of course, many years later (as I try to get to retirement without getting fired), I realize how unsuitable my not very grown up fantasy (at that time I was about 30) was.

    For one thing, I’ve never learned how to swim very well at all. Another relevant item: I don’t have a very good sense of balance. I’ve never tried to surf, but I doubt I would stay up for more than about two seconds, if that.

    I do like to lie on the beach under a cypress tree, though, so I might qualify for a journeyman position as a beach bum in California.

  3. pandemonic Says:

    Just because you’re on the beach doesn’t mean you have to go into the water. I refuse to go in. Too many floaties for me…

  4. I think it would be fun to be trained as a pastry chef, just because.

    Working as one, though, is the world’s biggest nightmare, as my two pastry-chef friends have told me. Working with a fragile, edible, collapsible, unstable medium isn’t a path to serenity.

  5. modestypress Says:

    As my wife edges into retirement, one of her main avocations is cultivating our large garden. She talks about the relaxation and serenity of gardening, interspersed with…”What’s this brown spot on this leaf?…What’s eating the berries?…Half the beets didn’t sprout!…Get teh air rifle! There’s another #$@&! rabbit in the garden…They sent me the wrong seeds in the packet!” and so on.

    Next, come the workshops on Serenity Through Gardening. “Relax, God Damn It!” my wife will tell the students.

    Once I foolishly said to her, “You know we don’t really save any money gardening. The exercise is good for us. We know where the food came from and that it’s organic. But when we figure in the organic fertilizer and the fence and the irrigation system and so on, it probably costs us about a $1 a berry.”

    About once a quarter we have a potentially marriage ending fight. That took care of that quarter. I spaded a lot of dirt that week and ate a good share as well.

  6. Cameron Says:

    About once a quarter we have a potentially marriage ending fight. That took care of that quarter.

    lol! I know the feeling!

  7. vroni1208 Says:

    I don’t believe in careers with low-stress. They are just something made up by the yahoo’s at Yahoo, which is probably owned by the evil Hallmark Company/Halliburton conglomerate.

    There is a company that makes t-shirts (Life is Good). Their logo is “Do what you like. Like what you do.” That concept is so far-fetched to me, it frightens me at times.

  8. cheles Says:

    Preschool teacher…low stress? Yeah like NOT! I worked as a certified preschool teacher for a year before I went back to school to become a Special Ed. Assistant. I dunno about the job being low stress! 15 preschoolers in one class was enough to make me run, lol. The problem is, is that too many preschool teachers do not take the job seriously and end up becoming “glorified babysitters.” For a long time I supported ECE BC’s attempts to make the ECE program a degree program. Why “the power’s that be” refuse, I dont know. Early Childhood Education is so incredibly important to support- I did just as much work as a preschool teacher as I do now only I was paid half the salary back then. Making it a degree program will eliminate much of the deadwood that refuse to take early childhood education seriously. Great post.

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