Waiting and springing
March 28, 2008
For a few days, the weather smelled and looked like spring. I moved some dirt. We tidied around the fences, in an effort to prevent the illegal aliens (also known as bunny rabbits) from crossing into our territory.
One morning Mrs. Random yelled, “Oh my G–!”
“What?” I demanded in alarm.
“I saw the first bunny. It was lurking out by the woodpile.”
I took down the air rifle. I loaded a pellet. I cocked the rifle. I fired the pellet into a stump. The stump promised not to invade the garden and eat carrots this year.
Yesterday, I got home from work. Mrs. Random said, “It rained all day. I couldn’t work in the garden. I cleaned house all day. The house is almost ready for the family to visit this weekend.”
I looked at the house. Every spot had been removed from the already spotless house (except for my spot, which is very spotty).
I said, “I am sure when Random Granddaughter comes to visit, she will think I will remember what a neat spotless house Grandma had when I came to visit her as a child.”
Mrs. Random said, “Hmph.”
I said, “Where is the green eggs and ham book? I may not be allowed to fix myself green eggs and ham when RG comes to visit, but I will at least read the book to her.”
“It’s upstairs,” my wife said.
I imagine RG’s mommies will tell her on the way over to show good manners. I imagine she will forget as soon as we all sit down for lunch. (She is just visiting for one day, so there will be no dinner table manners adventures.)
We have lots of dirt for her to dig with her birthday present shovel if she digs it.
I imagine our family will carry on despite table manners traumas.