Raising a Better Candidate

May 2, 2008

Some unfortunate children are born without an immune system. To survive, such children often placed in a sterile bubble. However, scientists are making progress in providing gene therapy to cure such children.Fortunately, foundations that support such bubble life have created a new kind of bubble therapy so their foundations can survive. They now create bubbles for raising your child to be a Presidential candidate. Future candidate bubbles protect your child against exposure to inappropriate clergymen such as Jeremiah Wright (in the case of Obama) or John Hagee (an influence on John McCain), inappropriate skin colors or names (problems for Obama) or inappropriate spouses (Bill) or waters (white) (encumbrances for Hillary).

Sign up to protect your infant today before it’s too late for him or her (or it) to become a future American President.



6 Responses to “Raising a Better Candidate”

  1. pandemonic Says:

    I guess I’m exempt. Neither of my children want to become president, and that’s fine by me. However, if I were you, I’d sign up Random Granddaughter, even though I would be the first to say she’d make a kick-butt Commander in Chief.

  2. modestypress Says:

    No, pandemonic, that’s not quite the scenario for RG. Her best friend, Mia, who is smarter than RG (as diagnosed by RG’s birth mother, Mommy, who teaches at a private school for genius children, and should know), but also obsessive-compulsive and a four-year-old control freak will be the future Director of Homeland Security. RG, on the other hand, who is already showing impressive skills of talking her way into or out of anything, will be the person you call when the guards say, “You get to make one phone call.”

    RG lives and (sometimes sleeps with) Sylvie, the world’s coolest cat. Mia lives with a dog, who much to the relief of RG’s mommies, who are not big dog fans) is a bit of a creep. In any case, neither RG (who has been also known to prefer to eat off the floor) nor Mia is growing up wrapped in bubble wrap.

  3. pandemonic Says:

    You mean the president doesn’t sleep with a cat? The nerve!?

  4. modestypress Says:


    On the other hand, some people might question what manner of creature Laura Bush sleeps with.

  5. renaissanceguy Says:

    Hilarious. I tend to take my politics very seriously, so I appreciate the chance to laugh over such a good post.

  6. modestypress Says:

    Thank you, Ren guy. I figure my work for today is done, but unfortunately my boss thinks otherwise.

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