Second Day of RG Babysitting Grandpa

When I arrived to pick up Random Granddaughter from her pre-school for my second day of rescue/babysitting (a week after the first) I was told that RG was having lunch. The teacher who admitted me invited me to join RG for lunch. “She will have to share her lunch with you,” she told me.In the classroom, RG was sitting at a small table with three other children. There were groups of children at several tables. I have no idea whether the children choose their own lunch groups or not or whether the groups represent different status groups or pecking orders (although the children seemed to be eating their lunches in a normal way rather than by pecking their food, even in an orderly way).

I sat on a very small chair, as did all the teachers having lunch with the children. RG was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I asked her (using “please” politely) if I might have bite of her sandwich. RG immediately tore her sandwich in half and generously offered me an entire half.

I introduced myself to the children and asked their names. The boy in the group introduced himself as Leo. Leo asked me why I was taking RG away with me. I explained I needed her to babysit me.

The children accepted this explanation as reasonable. As I had taken RG away previously and let her return again the next week, the children seemed more relaxed about the situation.

Cassidy, one of the two other girls at the table, told me she wasn’t eating a sandwich. Indeed, she seemed to be eating small pieces of chicken out of a plastic bowl. “I am going to be a vegetarian, but my father thinks I need to eat some meat,” she explained.

Mira, the other girl at the table, told me that she didn’t eat peanut butter.

“Are you allergic to peanuts?” I asked.

“No, I just think some nuts are better than others,” she explained.

RG said, “Mia [her best friend who lives across the street] is allergic to peanut butter.” I looked around the room and saw Mia sitting at another table. It was a much larger table with many children sitting in long rows. Perhaps Mia was far enough away from RG to be safe from RG’s peanut butter.

The conversation seemed very adult to me.

As we walked home, RG and I didn’t talk much but we held hands in a companionable manner. After we got home, RG immediately handed me two birthday presents. One was for me; the other was for Grandma.

My daughter had forgotten to get us birthday presents back in January (mine) and Februrary (my wife’s). I had been a little surprised but didn’t say anything. Random Daughter has been very busy with getting ready for returning to graduate school and preparing to leave her job, so she had a lot on her mind. A week ago she had emailed me asking for suggestions for a present for her mother. “Don’t worry about your present; it’s taken care of,” she told me in the email.

In the barely extended family, we are not big on giving presents. We don’t exchange presents at Christmas. At birthdays, we typically ask each other what we want rather than trying to surprise each other. An anthropologist would no doubt conclude that our culture handles gift giving at an extremely primitive level, but we do the best we can in our rudimentary society.

I opened my present in front of RG. My daughter had remembered I had requested an “Arrogant Worms” album, but she had purchased two albums for me instead of just one, perhaps to make up for being late with the present. I explained to RG that I would save the other present so Grandma could open it herself.

(When Grandma later opened her present she found a Donovan album and an Ian and Sylvia album. She had these albums on phonograph records, but a) we put our turntable away and b) she had played these albums so many times the records were worn out. CDs wear out eventually, but I don’t know if they expire from the laser wearing out the CD as a phonograph needle wears out an LP. In any case, Grandma was very pleased with her presents. I was very pleased also as I had promised to buy these albums for her long ago, and now my daughter had done the task for me. We have a wonderful daughter.

RG decided to hear her story and take her nap immediately. I assumed we would go to the playground again after she woke from her nap.

After RG awoke a couple of hours later, she came downstairs. However, she didn’t seem quite awake yet. She lay down on the couch and covered herself with a blanket. She took turns putting the blanket over herself and putting it over me. Playing hide and seek and making people disappear and reappear continues to provide her with a great deal of amusement. For all I know, when she becomes an adult and marries she will play hide and seek with a spouse. Some games seem to have long-term entertainment value.

“I don’t want to go to the playground,” she said. As I was still operating on the principle that she was in charge as long as she didn’t do anything dangerous, I immediately agreed. The rings at the playground did not seem to be in any danger from her absence.

RG seemed a little bored. One of Mrs. Random’s worries is that RG will be bored when Mrs. Random takes care of her. I decided to let her be bored for a few minutes and see what happened. After a few minutes she began playing with a group of six small animal dolls quite intently, doing various tasks involving putting on clothes and taking off clothes. I asked her if she needed any help. “No,” she answered as she attended to the dolls.

I came to the conclusion that RG is at least as capable as the average adult of amusing herself and working out of being bored. I later told my wife, “Don’t worry so much about amusing or entertaining RG if she seems bored for a little bit. She has a considerable capacity for amusing herself if you leave her alone.”

Eventually, she asked me to tie to strings together on a smock for a little fox doll. Perhaps she was worried Grandpa was bored, so she found something for me to do.

Earlier, I had asked RG if she wanted to work a jigsaw puzzle. I pulled a puzzle off a shelf. She did not seem interested in the puzzle, so I left it on a table. After playing with her dolls, she went into the library and returned with a different jigsaw puzzle and began putting it together on the floor. Although she was having some success putting some of the pieces together, she also seemed a little stuck.

I approached cautiously to see if I could help without annoying her. Generally, adults put puzzles together by attaching the outside pieces first. They identify the outside pieces by one side being straight. I noticed RG often tried to put pieces with a straight edge into the middle of the puzzle.

I tried to explain to her about putting the pieces with straight edges together, but she didn’t seem quite ready for this level of the “Theory of Putting Jigsaw puzzles together.” However, she eventually got the entire puzzle together with a little help from me. She didn’t seem to mind my participation.

As the afternoon passed, about every half hour she asked when Mommy (my daughter’s out of law partner and RG’s birth mother) would be home. However, she seemed relaxed on the topic when I said I didn’t know. She seemed satisfied just to remind herself (and me) that Mommy would be coming home.

Eventually, Mommy did arrive. After a bit she decided to call Mama, (my daughter, who rides the bus home from her job) on Mama’s cell phone to see when she was getting home. I had told Mommy that I was not staying for dinner, but would wait a little bit to see my daughter if it didn’t take her too long to arrive. As Mommy began to dial, Mama walked in the door. (I think this is called magic.)

I thanked Random Daughter for my birthday present, kissed RG goodbye, and headed for the ferry.