Madder Than a Dry Duck

August 18, 2008

Last night we had the Friendly Neighbors over for dinner. As my wife gets very tense just before company comes, we only screamed at each other once. Just as we were calming ourselves, or maybe drawing breath to start yelling at each other again, the doorbell rang, ten minutes early. (They had been a few minutes late once, the time my wife had been preparing a soufflé; so now they worry about being late.)   As we opened the door, I invited them to watch the special entertainment we had prepared for them, called “Fighting in front of your guests.”

They updated us on their chickens and ducks. One of the chickens is injured. As best they can tell, it has a leg which is either broken or dislocated. They have prepared a field hospital for it, and they are providing loving and tender care to see if it survives. (I presume so they can eat it at a later time.)

 I suggested they purchase a small chicken wheelchair for it.

 Another of the chickens fell into the duck pond. Mrs. FN found it up to its neck in water. She rescued it quickly. “A wet chicken is very heavy,” she complained. She dried it off with a towel, put it in the sun to dry out and fight hypothermia, and worried that it might not survive. However, the next day it seemed to be making a full recovery.

Although Mr. Friendly Neighbor drained and cleaned the pond; since the chicken fell in, the ducks have refused to get into their pond.

I suggested this was something like the “color” line of the old days of segregation. “We just don’t get into pools where chickens have been swimming,” the ducks say firmly.

 I expect to see mass chicken splash-ins any day now.


4 Responses to “Madder Than a Dry Duck”

  1. teaspoon Says:

    I think marketing wheelchairs for chickens ought to be your next entrepreneurial scheme.

  2. vroni1208 Says:

    Scheme is the right word, there. 🙂

    Poor ducks. Poor chickens. Can’t we all just get along?

  3. ireneintheworld Says:

    loving your blog; you have great wit and timing plus fabulous stories to tell. i’ll be back. i found you by tag-surfing. x

  4. modestypress Says:

    Thank you, teaspoon. It’s no wonder I have billions of dollars just llike Bill Gates.

    vroni, I don’t know why we all can’t just get along. My wife and I take it day to day.

    Irene, I can tell instantly that you are a woman of impeccable taste and discrimination. 🙂

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