2nd Thing Wrong With Me

October 1, 2008

#2. Actually, dyslexia is probably not the precise description of my ailment. Perhaps my ailment should be called speed dyslexia. That is, I do things in two much of a hurry. For example, my most frequent error in writing consists of mixing the words there and their and they’re.  I am likely to write, “Their’s no their, their,” or “They left there hair their,” or even “Their, they’re” when you get irritated by my running this stupid joke into the ground. I know how to spell there and their and they’re perfectly properly if I just take the time to think about it. In fact, I can even write,”Where theirs a will theirs a way” if I use enough will power to find a way to accomplish it.My speed dyslexia typically shows up when I type homonyms. I am likely too make two many mistakes if I try too do to things at once. It’s not fare that our language forces us two this fair thee not very well. I will start a movement to ban homonyms from our language, not only because they harm people such as me, but also it’s unreasonable to expect people to be able to spell the word homynom.

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8 Responses to “2nd Thing Wrong With Me”

  1. pandemonic Says:

    In that other place, I had a group for the prevention of the misuse of homophones. You could have been a charter member. Of course, the group is still there, so you could still be a member, but I don’t write for it anymore. Why do I say this? I’m not sure.

  2. truce Says:

    recent email from one of our Designers:

    ‘…thansk for the map. I will be in touch soon with feedback as I now their are some quires but in the meantime I will download it to the server know.’

    *slap*

  3. giannakali Says:

    those kind of misspellings in my mind are typos…my fingers get confused and I don’t see it…anyway I have the same problem too…I find it incredibly annoying because I assume there are people who think I don’t know the difference…

    and it happens with all sorts of homynoms as well as words that are spelled similarly but may sound different…

    this is problem I have when typing much more than when writing by hand…

  4. truce Says:

    typos are fine, I can totally live with them – I make ’em all the time.

    But confusing ‘now’ and ‘know’ is possibly more idiocy than a simple typo, especially when combined with the evidence of ‘quires’ for ‘queries’… and the fact that I know this person and they can barely pronounce half the words they use, let alone spell them.

  5. modestypress Says:

    I am not an ordinary person. For example, I am quite capable of demonstrating more idiocy than the average person.

    Whether my idiocy is any justification or excuse for the person you describe, truce, I can’t say.

    When I was a young introvert, I read many words and didn’t know how to pronounce them and said them aloud, proving to everyone around me that I was an “intelligent” idiot.

    Although I am gradually getting over being embarrassed by anything, it still hideously embarrasses me that I once at a party misprounced the word fellatio. There, I said it.

    On the other hand, in my own defense (if not defensiveness) I usually get “now” and “know” correct. I don’t think I will ever have occassion to say or even write, “I know I would like some fellatio right now.”

    I don’t think this would be a sentence appropriate for RG to read. Her mommies, prudish “lesbians” don’t even want her to read The Cat in the Hat yet. I try to go along with their wishes.


  6. I love the concept of an “intelligent” idiot. I know so many of them.

  7. vroni1208 Says:

    We all do it, but there is a limit! The truth is: You are obviously a “homonym-aphobic”. It’s funny but I imagine this is one of those issues Rose Anne Rosanna Dana would have an issue with. Heh-heh. Why can’t we all just get along?

    I miss Gilda Radner.

  8. modestypress Says:

    I don’t why we all just get along. Sometimes, the failure of people to get along with me makes me want to kill them. Generally, however, I don’t. What part of intelligent idiot don’t I understand?


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