RG’s Day at the Zoo With Cherry Vile Prep (Part 14)

December 7, 2008

In any case, our daughter seemed pretty happy until she ran away from home on the flimsy excuse of attending college.  (Actually, she skipped her last year of high school, thereby entirely evading the issue of “senioritis.”)

The first college she attended was an international school in Canada, where she shared a cabin with young ladies from all over the world. I don’t remember all the roommates and the countries they came from, though I do remember a few. There was a long lady from Germany, one from Ireland, and another from Canada. There was a charming young lady from Finland (who speaks six languages, including English that compares favorably to the English many native-born Americans speak), who remains one of my daughter’s best friends to this day.

One of her roommates was a young lady from Nigeria, named Daniella. Her story was strange. Her Swiss mother had married a Nigerian village chief. Daniella, who stayed at our home over a Christmas holiday along with the young women from Finland and Canada, was a very unhappy person, in part because she was a teenager (teenagers are often unhappy on general principles) and in part because she was very confused about her identity. Daniella (the Swiss-Nigerian girl) lost her bubble of innocence at a fairly early age, I suspect.

I was startled one day  to observe my daughter, who is a very polite and even-tempered person most of the time, snap at Daniella. I suspect RD was worried that Daniella’s bitter cynicism was infectious.

Although Random Daughter enjoyed her time at this college, and is still involved with the school as a mentor for students (including assisting a young woman from Singapore who plans to go to medical school and has become a good friend of the mommies and Random Granddaughter) and as a screener for applicants, she also became rather depressed at times, as the innocence leaked out of her bubble.

Attending Oberlin did not cheer my daughter up, though she did survive the experience and graduate and brought home a girl friend after graduation. Yes, THAT kind of girl friend.

Neither attending Oberlin nor attending graduate school at Cornell especially cheered my daughter up. In fact, what has most cheered my daughter up has been becoming a co-mom of Random Granddaughter. (Because of a childhood illness, my daughter can’t bear children, which has made her a bit sad. Nevertheless, she clearly delights in being a co-mom.) This reinforces my belief that sociobiology provides one of the main reasons people find to live. (As I describe the phenomenon: we are attracted to genes in tight jeans.) Girls can be attracted to girls with genes in tight jeans; boys can be attracted to boys in genes with tight jeans-how weird is that?

Eventually my daughter and her girl friend  they held a pleasant (though non-legal) wedding ceremony to make semi-honest women of each other. They went on a brief honeymoon.

To sum up: neither attending Oberlin nor attending Cornell especially cheered my daughter up, though the presence of her sweetheart and of newer cats-Tommy (dumb but lovable) and Lulu (aka “Queen of the Universe”) expired and were replaced by Sebastian (large, lazy and limited in brainpower and now “ex”) and Sylvie, (small, energetic, clever and the world’s most extroverted and loveable cat) did make life bearable.

I don’t think it was the result of their honeymoon (unless they did very weird things with a test tube on their honeymoon that didn’t take effect for quite a few years), but eventually they produced a little girl, a very charming little girl, star of blogosphere, Random Granddaughter.


6 Responses to “RG’s Day at the Zoo With Cherry Vile Prep (Part 14)”

  1. I think the biological/emotional drive to parent a child is very strong in a lot of people, and that for those people, not being a parent would result in an unfulfilled life. It’s too bad, though, that more of them don’t seek creative solutions as your daughter did, rather than having children with unsuitable people simply because time is running out. Of course your daughter had the advantage of finding the right partner with whom to build a family, but still — someone who needs to be a parent can always find a child in need of parenting.

  2. pandemonic Says:

    Your assessment of being a teenager is very accurate. Girls are especially prone to negativity. They are hard to cheer up, even with good schools, nice clothes and plenty to eat. (I’m finding that out with my own daughter.) However,the teen years end, and then one of two things happen: 1. You start to look at life more positively and cheer yourself, or 2. You stay negative.

    Good for your daughter that she finds cheer in RG.

  3. C'hele Says:

    I cant think of a more honourable job, parenting. I dont care “who” the parents are as long as the child grows up with a good self of self and is loved.

  4. modestypress Says:

    And I will tell RG to appreciate her mommies or I will paddle her little bottom. This strategy is somewhere in the Handbook to Good Grandparenting.

  5. truce Says:

    Having just spent a vain (in both senses of the word) Sunday afternoon shopping for a new pair of jeans, I can honestly state that no one will find my genes attractive in a pair of tight jeans. Mostly cos I can’t get the damn things on over my arse.


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