Grandpa and RG Visit the Zoo. Chapter 9: RG Takes Her Case to an Appeals Court.

December 17, 2008

When we got home, RG had a snack, and told me once again that she did not intend to take a nap. It was clear that the day’s events, and particularly Grandpa’s oppressive behavior, was preying on her mind.

She picked up a cell phone. She said, “I want to call Mama [Random Daughter].” I looked on the side of the refrigerator for the list of emergency numbers for babysitters to call. I handed the number to RG. She made a stab at dialing the number, but went amiss on a digit. I helped her dial the number correctly.

I said, “Be sure and tell Mama that you are not going to take a nap.” I figured that she was not going to tell Mama about her defiant scheme, but either RG is still especially honest or she is not quite sophisticated enough yet to concoct a really devastating plot against Grandpa. [I figure by the time she is five, police will arrive at my door with a warrant for my arrest for child abuse, bearing a copy of an affidavit signed by RG.]

She got through to Mama and I heard RG talking my daughter. I heard RG say to Momma, “I am not going to take a nap.” There was a long silence; then RG brought the cell phone to me.

“Mama wants to talk to you,” she said.

My daughter said to me, “I told RG that we can’t force her to sleep but we do want her to lie down and close her eyes for half an hour and rest. It’s 12:45. I want her to lie down until 1:15.”

After getting orders from Mama, RG went upstairs to her bedroom peacefully. I read her a story. I pointed at the clock and explained when she would be able to get up again. RG has trouble telling time on an analog clock, but she has a digital clock in her bedroom which she can read.

She calmly and firmly told me, “I am not going to take a nap.” I kissed her good not-nap and went downstairs to the living room, where I quietly sat down with a book.

After a while, it became very quiet upstairs. I guessed that a little girl had fallen asleep in spite of herself but I did not check go up to check on her; figuring it would be silly to make noise that might wake her or give her an excuse to demand to get up early.

RG slept peacefully for a couple of hours, but then she awoke and started screaming for Mommy. This is her usual shtick when I babysit her, and it is getting really old. I am weary of a granddaughter waking from her nap and screaming.

I got her up, calmed her down, and assured her Mommy would be home at 5 to take her to her swimming lesson. Once again, she told me that she had heard herself snoring and scared herself. (This has become such a well-rehearsed story now that I imagine she will still be telling it when she calls 911 at the age of 25.   “I heard myself snoring and I woke up,” she will tell the paramedics as they rush into her house.)

RG played with some toys until Mommy came home at 5. They set off for her swimming lesson; I set off for home on the island.


7 Responses to “Grandpa and RG Visit the Zoo. Chapter 9: RG Takes Her Case to an Appeals Court.”

  1. pandemonic Says:

    Oh, my. This is hysterical, not because it’s unusual, but because I can remember doing the same thing with my kids when they were that age.

  2. modestypress Says:

    I can’t think of a clever retort, but I want you to know I read and appreciated your comment.

  3. truce Says:

    I used to wake myself up with awful nightmares until I was about 12, be thankful its only the snoring which is waking her 🙂

    • modestypress Says:

      The snoring panic only comes when I am taking care of her while she is taking a nap. At night, with the mommies taking care of her, she has nightmares. Actually, RG has not been a very good sleeper for most of her life.

      When she was smaller, at times both mommies, two cats (Sebastian–big cat, now ex, and Sylvie–small cat) and RG all slept in the same bed.

      My wife and I can not imagine putting up with such a complex bedtime situation. It seems more difficult than a depraved polyamorous coven. Sylvie never scratches RG–well almost never–only twice, both reflex spasms; the first was in the mommy-cat-RG coven when RG once rolled on top of Sylvie.

      The situation was even more complicated in the fact that Sebastian hated Sylvie and frequently attacked Sylvie.

      I expect family relationships in the future to be much more complex than the old “one man marries one woman until the divorce” pattern of our society. As in this, along with many other aspects of RG’s current family life, I think she is being well prepared for our science fiction future.

  4. I think you underestimate the horror of hearing onself snoring, if one is of a suitably delicate aesthetic perception. It’s taken all the 911 operator’s training and ingenuity to calm me down, on more than one occasion.

  5. modestypress Says:

    This is very strange.

    First, my wife seems to be very much like you, though she did not have a similar childhood.

    I also see more and more resemblances between you and Random Granddaughter, though she seems to be having a reasonably happy and healthy childhood and development.

    I do not know what to make of this, unless spiritual clones of David Rochester are starting to take over the world.

  6. Shhhhh. That’s supposed to be a secret.

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