Eye Surgeons and Horror Movies

July 15, 2009

I went to the eye surgeon yesterday for the final evaluation of my cataract-repaired right eye.

I figure doctors lives are a bit tedious what with saving lives and telling people they will die. So far doctors have saved my life once from an unknown disease (about four years ago), and saved an eye from cataract-impaired fuzziness (still in progress). I try to thank them by tossing a nugget of unexpected humor into their rushed lives.

The eye surgeon entered the examining room. While he was washing his hands, I figured he could multi-task by listening to my pathetic attemps at humor.

I said, “I killed two rabbits using my new and improved eye.”

“Oh,” he said, without interest.

I tried my second attempt. I said, “Did you know there is a horror movie based on corneal replacement surgery?”

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

I could tell he was hooked.

I told him about the Chinese horror movie Gin gwai. (According to the Rotten Tomatoes web site, it is much better than the American remake, The Eye. I don’t really know. Horror movies creep me out and I seldom watch them. Having the surgeon slice in to my eye creeped me out also, but it seems to be worth it.)

“What is the hook of the movie,” he asked. I briefly summarized the plot, based on second-hand information. He chuckled. “I didn’t know that such a movie existed,” he said. “I will have to watch it.”

He began to examine my eye. “It’s coming along very well,” he said. “Your vision won’t be perfect. I had to compromise. You will still have to wear glasses, and you will be more near-sighted than you were, but your distance vision will be much better than it was.”

“I am satisfied with that I said,” I said. I thought, I will still be able to drive. Bunnies, intent on munching our garden, be very afraid, I thought. “Thank you,” Isaid.

He said, “We can cut down the number of eye drops from three solutions four times a day to one solution twice a day.”

“I am glad to hear that,” I said. “I am tired of dropping liquids on to my eye.”

“Most people get tired of that,” he said.

Still, it’s better to have better to have eyes that see better  and require a few drops than not to have eyes at all, I thought.

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13 Responses to “Eye Surgeons and Horror Movies”

  1. tammie Says:

    i love your humor. : )

    “Still, it’s better to have better to have eyes that see better and require a few drops than not to have eyes at all, I thought.”

    this is true. i just spent a month in “school” with about 19 other adults who are losing or who have lost their vision. while i admire their resilience and the courage and grace and dignity with which they are all overcoming the handicap, vision is good.

  2. woo Says:

    Jolly glad to hear it is healing well and that it is an improvement.

    I went to the ophthalmologist yesterday, too. My eyes have been increasingly dry and sore so I thought maybe, finally, I needed glasses (the rest of my family all wear glasses). But no, my vision is still close to perfect – I just spend too long looking at a computer screen all day, and then go home and stare at a book all evening. My eyes are tired. I know the feeling. I was given some drops, though – so we are both dripping liquid into our eyes now.

    😉

  3. mmacmurray Says:

    I’m glad to hear that the surgery went well and that recovery is going smoothly. My dad had some unexpected complications following his cataract surgery a few years ago, and I was hoping your procedure would be trouble-free.

    Your story about the surgeon’s reaction to the movie made me laugh. I’m married to a doctor, and he and his colleagues find some odd things quite amusing. 🙂

  4. modestypress Says:

    macmurray,

    Thanks for dropping in. I know several people who had good experiences with cataract surgery, and one person who did not. We never know.

  5. Pete Says:

    Hey Random, speaking of odd things that are amusing, I am reading a book right now that reminds me SO much of your sense of humor (As it were…) If you have not read it you really should, and I think it is right up your alley… The Gold Coast by Nelson Demille. SOrry to mess with your thread but I wanted to tell you before I forget. Anyone else read it yet?

  6. modestypress Says:

    Thank you, Pete. First, I will I will update you on several things on our country news. 1) We are enjoying the tayberries very much. Anne Elise has been goofing off with visiting her dad in Chicago and so on and has not visited us, so she is missing all the berries–so far strawberries, blueberries, and tayberries–and the raspberries are just starting to come in–so years from now, she will say, “I still regret the summer I missed the tayberries at my grandparents when I was five years old.” 2) We traded a basket of tayberries to the Friendly Neighbors for a half dozen eggs and apparently both sides figured they had come out ahead–the best kind of deal. 3. We are going to start working on putting an electric fence around our garden and when we build a chicken house it will extend there to keep the racoons and the coyotes out (though probably they will figure it out and electrocute Mrs. Random and I in revenge after they eat all the chickens).

    Anyway, I just checked the library system (not the one I used to work for, so I still speak with this one) and they have the book you mentioned, so I just ordered it. Though if the sense of humor is like mine, I may have to sue the author.

  7. Average Jane Says:

    Yep..much better to have eyes, I agree. Glad you are doing alright. Which reminds me I will be needing glasses shortly. I turned 40 this year..sigh.

  8. modestypress Says:

    Jane,

    I thought everyone was perpetually 39 years old. Why I was just 39 years old the other day.


  9. I love it that you’re telling your eye doctor about horror movies based on his profession.

  10. spectrum2 Says:

    I did not see the Chinese version. I saw The Eye, but I knew it was based on the Chinese film. Eyes are kinda creepy to me. I had trouble getting used to contact lenses, because touching my eye creeped me out. I hate birds too, and the thought of them pecking someone’s eyes out is one of the nastiest occurrences I can imagine. I’m glad you got the benefit of entertaining your doctor with the plot of a horror movie.

  11. modestypress Says:

    I try to be a memorable patient for my doctors, but one tht they remember with amusement, not with horror.


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