Perhaps You Can Just Let Me Live My Life

November 3, 2009

RG again. Grandpa is collecting on a flash drive all the “RG stories” he wrote about me. (Don’t believe half the stuff he writes about me, either.) He plans to put them on a flash drive and attach a note that say, “Give to RG when she turns 15.”

As he reasonably accurately noted (for once), when I was three I said to Mommy, “You are deciding too many things for me. I am almost grown up. I should get to decide more things for myself.”

Anyway, I’ve read all his stories already. He thinks I will want to know about what I did when I was young when I get older because his parents and grandparents didn’t write down their stories for him to read. (That’s why he made up a bunch of stupid stories about his relatives.)

Here’s the thing Grandpa doesn’t understand. My mommies already have sixty-eleven million digital photographs of me. They have documented every inch I’ve grown and every cute word I’ve ever said. They have measured every pound I’ve gained (though I am still very slim, thank you very much), kept track of every shot the mean doctors poked into my arm or my butt.

I have to be the most documented child in the history of children. (Except for all the other kids in my kindergarten, of course.)

Suppose I decided to run for President some day. (Don’t worry; I’m moving into a new dimension instead.) But if I did all my political enemies would be poring over all the documentation collected on me. I can just see the headlines: RG Pooped her diaper on the way to the park at the age of three! Do you want to elect this woman President?

Look, Grandpa, I appreciate how you are collecting all your stories to have the mommies hand to me when I turn 15. But how about you just let me live my life?


5 Responses to “Perhaps You Can Just Let Me Live My Life”

  1. woo Says:

    RG will have to suffer for her grandpa’s audience’s reading pleasure…

  2. Pete Says:

    Gradnpa knows best!

    Future blackmail?

    At least insurance?

  3. That is very sweet, I’m sure that her biographer will appreciate it.

  4. Save it until she’s 21. Fifteen year olds don’t have a sense of humor about themselves yet.

    Or maybe until she’s 30.

    Do I hear 50?

  5. modestypress Says:

    RG will have to grow up very fast, If she was “almost grown up” by the time she is three, she will have to develop a sense of humor by the time she is 15.

    My daughter almost died from a bizarre medical conditon when she was 15. RG will have to get together with her very bright friends and take on saving civilization when she is 15, and chuckle while she is doing so.

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