The Mom Who May Be Adopting Her Daughter’s Ex-boyfriend

May 10, 2010

Part 5

When we got home, RG’s pre-K teacher had arrived. She whined about how menopause was ruining her memory for names, but she looks 20 years younger than menopause. Like RG’s kindergarten teacher, pre-K teacher is positive, upbeat, and full of enthusiasm. She puts her arm around RG and calls her “Girl Friend,” and treats her like a chummy pre-teen. Which I guess what RG is at six years of age.

Pre-K confirmed a new social trend I have noticed: parents adopting their children’s spouses and significant others. My favorite computer dealer’s daughter divorced her husband and moved to the East Coast. He now runs their store with them and they call him “our son.”

Pre-K teacher talked about her daughter in college. Apparently, there is no split, but I sensed a little coolness and distance. The teacher said, “She [daughter] broke up with her boyfriend of five years.”

Teacher then began telling us about how wonderful ex-boyfriend is and how much she likes him.

We are inventing a new culture.

11 Responses to “The Mom Who May Be Adopting Her Daughter’s Ex-boyfriend”

  1. Karen O Says:

    My niece knows a girl whose mother (a lesbian) married the girl’s boyfriend (whose green card expired) to keep him in the country.

    So this girl’s boyfriend is also her step-father.

  2. Norwichrocks Says:

    thank god my parents are so anti-social. I can’t bear to think how awful it would be to have an ex-boyfriend still hanging about the place…

  3. modestypress Says:

    The 2010s are the decade of chicken keeping, beekeeping, and acceptance of gay marriage. Group marriage and polyamory will arrive in the 2020s. So then one would not have an “ex-boyfriend” hanging around the place, but a whole group of collective joint lovers. I don’t think there is a word for such a group yet. I would ask RG to get to work on it, but her mommies, being prissy, conservative, puritanical lesbians would not approve.

  4. Ugh. My mom took by High School boyfriend’s side when I ditched him. That’s so utterly creepy and mind twisting. Perhaps I shouldn’t introduce my dear love to my mother just yet. She seems pretty nervous, I wonder if that’s a good sign.

    • modestypress Says:

      Waxing Strange, I am always full of creative very bad ideas. I am thinking that the proper approach to your current situation is tell your mom that she cannot meet your current dear love unless Trucie (Norwichrocks) acts as a duenna, and personally supervises the meeting. Of course your mom would have to pay the air fare to and from Australia.

      • I like this plan very much. Unfortunately we already have tenative plans to have dinner at a Chinese buffet. That way, everyone will have an excuse to leave the table should they feel the need.

  5. the Mother Says:

    I’m sorry, but, seriously???

    I may not always like my kids. I take that as a given right of parenting. But I will always, ALWAYS take their side against the world. That’s what family is for.

    (It may help that so far, I’m not a huge fan of the girls they’ve brought home.)

  6. modestypress Says:


    I found it very strange, myself. But the world is changing very quickly in many strange ways. My granddaughter thinks it perfectly natural to have two mommies and two daddies, so I guess taking the side of an ex-spouse isn’t that much stranger.

  7. I’m somewhat relieved to know that based on what I have heard of them, the Amazon’s parents are likely to hate me on sight, and vice versa, so we will have a perfectly proper and vintage adversarial relationship. My mother likes the Amazon, but I’m fairly certain she doesn’t like her more than she likes me. Then again, I haven’t specifically asked, and perhaps I shouldn’t test that theory.

  8. modestypress Says:

    Given how much human beings have polluted our environment, it is no wonder we constantly have to build toxic waste dumps and skim oil from Louisiana estuaries. Of course, we name our dumps; soon enough there will be a “Superfund Toxic Waste Dump” known as The Family Values Toxic Waste Dump.

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