Random Granddaughter Presents the Chickens at the County Fair Chicken Olympics

August 16, 2010

Hello, my name is Random Granddaughter (you may call me “RG” for short) and I am here to present my grandparents’ three hens in this year’s County Fair “Chicken Olympics.” A few years ago, my grandparents attended a “Cat Olympics” at that year’s fair. My crazy Grandpa once asked me if my little cat Sylvie was doing what I told her to do, and I replied, “Kitty cats don’t do what you tell them to do.”

He said that showed I was very smart for a four year old girl to realize that. However, now he thinks his chickens will do what I tell them to do. That’s why I call him my “Crazy Grandpa.”

Anyway, Grandpa was not surprised when one of the cats went to sleep when it was asked to jump through a hoop.

OK, here are my grandparents’ chickens. First, I will present “Big Mama.” She lets me pick her up and pet her! She is a very smart chicken. Second she is eating lots of her very healthy well-balanced multi-grain chicken food. She is growing very big and strong and healthy.

Second I will present “Moll.” Moll is an excellent jumper. She will jump up on this table to get some oats. She thinks oats are like chicken candy.Moll has a lot of attitude. Little girl, sitting in the front row, please come up and hold out your hand to Moll. Look, she will peck you very hard! Little girl, you can stop crying now. How old are you? Four? Well, you should be a big girl now, and not cry so much just because a chicken pecked your finger. Well, maybe when you are six years old like me, you won’t be such a little crybaby.

Finally, I will present “Little Peep.” Little Peep is an introvert and does not like people looking at her. That is why she is hiding in the corner. Little Peep is also an omnivore. She especially likes meat. She is also an excellent hunter. She catches a lot of imaginary bugs. Look at her running around the stage pecking at imaginary bugs!

But I also brought her some real bugs. Perhaps some of the children in the audience would like to help me feed bugs to Little Peep. Here, hold out your hand, and I will put some “rolly pollies” in your hand. My grandpa says they’re called “sow bugs.” Now here are some ants. And here are some termites. Grandma gets very excited when she sees them around the house, so she is very happy when she sees Little Peep eating termites. And here is an earwig–Little Peep thinks they are especially good–look how she gobbles it up!

All the chickens like clover a lot also. Because they have been such good chickens, I am going to give them a bunch of clover leaves. Grandpa says to me, “Look how the chickens eat all these different foods, RG. You should stop being so fussy about your food and try a little of everything.”

Did I mention before that I consider him my Crazy Grandpa. I have five grandmas and four grandpas, but he is the only really crazy one.

8 Responses to “Random Granddaughter Presents the Chickens at the County Fair Chicken Olympics”

  1. Norwichrocks Says:

    Chickens have far more personality than most people give them credit for (which is why battery farming them is so awful – perhaps your Crazy Grandpa should leave explaining that to you when you’re a bit older) and I’m delighted to see that you are one of the discerning people who can perceive such chook-individuality.

    Also, we should all hope to be as crazy as your Grandpa. Its what keeps him young. Ish.

    • modestypress Says:

      I am trying to teach the “peeps” to type, so they can reply to comments. “Look, you are very good at scratching.” I tell them. “Typing is not that different than scratching. You can do it,” I say encouragingly.

  2. Karen O Says:

    Wow, RG is a bit harsh with the little(r) kids, isn’t she?

    My 1st grandbaby is due in about 10 weeks. His name is Forrest. I’m not sure about his daddy’s parents, but he will probably find his Mimi & Papa (me & my hubby, Lee) to be pretty crazy & silly. His mommy & auntie already think this. 🙂

    • modestypress Says:

      When my daughter was in kindergarten, her teacher, Mr. Morasch, told us that she was a good student, but rather bossy with the other kids. RG probably inherited this from her co-mommy. On the other hand, when RG was three years old, Mommy (her birth mother) introduced her to a little boy her own age). Without a word, RG hauled off and slapped the little boy in the face. Perhaps she is clairvoyant, and foresaw something the little boy would do to deserve the slap in a few years. Perhaps when RG is 15 or so, she will bring along a chicken duenna when she goes on dates, a descendant of Moll, who will peck boys sharply.

      Congratulations on Forrest. Perhaps Forrest and Grace and Anne Elise can all get together some day and talk about chickens and Christianity and global warming.

  3. Karen O Says:

    Maybe so!

  4. I’d like to see a combination of Chicken and Cat Olympics. Well, on second thought, maybe not.

  5. modestypress Says:

    At the moment, the chickens are much happier. After hours of incompetent work by Grandma and Grandpa, their chicken run has been expanded, so they have a much larger area in which to explore and peck and cluck and practice their Olympic skills.

  6. I may have said this before, but if RG puts the cash she gets from that many grandparent into a savings account, she will be able to buy a car at sixteen, and pay for college without a problem.

    I like the descriptions of the chickens. I once toured a chicken farm as a middle school field trip since business was owned by the father of a classmate, and after seeing the horrible conditions, I only ever buy eggs from free range chickens. I can only hope that those free range chickens are as wonderful as yours.

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