Medical Lunacy

April 21, 2010

Dental Worries.

It makes me nervous when things go well. My wife was very worried about a sore tooth. (Actually, she is very worried we will go broke now that we don’t have dental insurance, but this is how she expresses her financial fears. On the other hand, she spends lots of money on compost for the garden, sunflower seeds for the bird feeder, and she just brought home a big bag of chicken feed for the baby chicks that have not hatched yet.)

Anyway, the dentist told her she doesn’t have a terrible dental disaster and there is a cheap fix. However, she is not to drink anything hot or chew anything crunchy for a day or so. She is much relieved because she was expecting to have to write a check which would cause her gums to bleed all the way home.

Blood Pressure Worries.

My blood pressure, after being much better for several years, has started creeping up. However, my doctor told me he had taken me off a medication because he was worried that my blood pressure might go to low.

However, my HMO’s computer has gone bonkers. It has been sending me late bills now for six months (with polite notes that say, in more discreet language) Our computer is bonkers and we don’t know how to fix it.

It just sent me a notice that I need another colonoscopy. I had one two years ago. At the time, they told me, “You don’t need another one for five years.”

I just emailed my doctor and told him where he can put his colonoscopy. Actually, I was very polite, but I did say I had just gotten used to pricking myself once a week to draw blood to test my insulin level, and wasn’t quite ready to move to the next level of senior self abuse. I also asked him if there was a light at the end of the tunnel in regard to the HMO’s computer problems?

I now have joked with the eye surgeon who did my cataract surgery. In fact, years ago, I joked with the surgeon who did my vasectomy. I frequently joke with my dentist. Just to get ready, does anybody know any good colonoscopy jokes? Clean ones, please.

Losing My Mind Worries

I have graduated from sending $5 & $10 CAREing postal mail packages to people such as David, Waxing Strange, and an evangelical Christian (who is losing her husband and her house) to working on a present for a certain lady in Australia (or somewhere in that part of the world). However, today I stopped at the United States Post Office to look into shipping and customs and other inconvenient details. I am now in a state of shock. My present may have to travel by iceberg or penguin or Great White Shark. It may also take years to get there. Don’t hold your breath, dear lady. I am 66 years old and I don’t remember what I am doing from one day to the next.

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October 29, 2008

Today is the prep day for my colonoscopy. I clean out my system today. I took the first four pills at 9 am. At 3 pm I start drinking the liquids. Tomorrow I go through the actual procedure so they can see how likely it is that I have colon cancer.

I am dedicating these two days to the Help David Stay Alive Pledge Drive. If you mail a contribution today or tomorrow I will think of you each time I take a trip to the toilet. On Friday, I would like David to provide us with an update how contributions have been coming in.

I am providing first class premium quality premiums this week.

Working on it.

October 23, 2008

I can’t talk about it here, but David paid one of his premiums early, which is excellent.

I am working on the story of how I met my wife, but other events compete for my attention at the moment, so I don’t have an estimated time of arrival. Also, I will be taking care of Random Granddaughter next week and having a colonoscopy next week, though not at the same time, though I am sure that RG would find it an educational field trip of great interest to attend.